In the Balance
Yesterday, I put on my snowshoes and went out to the back field. The deep fluffy snow was a blank slate. I walked out to the middle of the field, chose my line and began to walk a large arcing circle. I kept walking and it became a spiral as I walked in tighter and tighter circles. I was moving inward, literally and metaphorically. With each layer, my mind got quieter, my focus more clear.
And then, as I arrived toward the center, the space between the rings got smaller and the boundaries between the ring layers began to collapse inward. I was trying to continue inward while the spiral was calling me back out. It was time to return.
I turned myself around 180 degrees, my snowshoes making a flower petal in the snow, and began to slowly walk out the way I had come. Walking the widening circles, I looked up into the bright blue sky. It was only then that I realized I had been looking down the entire time as I walked inward.
How often am I turned inward ~ aware of my own process, my own journey, my own needs, and only noticing the ground right in front of me? Surely there are times when it is important, perhaps even critical, to pay attention to the ground beneath my feet.
I must turn inward to listen to the small still voice, that heart of god that beats within me. How else will I know what is mine to do in this world?
But I can’t turn ever inward. The walls get too narrow and begin to cave in on themselves. And I can’t stay there. I must also turn my attention outward, to remember my belonging and participation in this beautiful and aching world. There is work to be done.
As I walked the spiral outward, I looked up from my spiral to see the woodpecker flying into the white pine and the compost and garden buried beneath the snow. I imagined the seeds deep within the soil turning ever so slightly as the days get longer. This weekend is Imbolc, the midwinter celebration that translates to “in the belly”.
It is a good time to wonder about what is gestating. What is waiting to be born in me? In you? In the collective? What are we each nurturing inside our bodies, hearts, and minds in this long, cold season? What are we nurturing in our communities as we come together in collective care and compassion?
These are big questions and I was enchanted by the process, so I made two more spirals before going inside.
When I got in, my son was in the kitchen. He grinned and asked, “What are you doing? Making crop circles to call in the apocalypse?” I laughed. “No. I’m calling in the balance.”
May love surround you
May peace flow through you
May love surround all beings
May peace flow through all beings
May peace and love flourish on earth
NOTE: If you have been reading my posts for a while, the winter spiral theme may feel familiar. You can read an older post here.)
